New year resolutions don't work for you? Pick a theme instead!
You know well this tradition of picking good resolutions for the New Year. If they are exciting for sure, they can also be sometimes unrealistic, pressuring, and not set on the best timing. Low energy, the arrival of the coldest times of the winter season, disrupted schedules: that’s not exactly a recipe for success.
Instead of resolutions, I will explain what works for me in the long run, and actually provides me with great results. It works not only for practical goals, but for spiritual ones too: a theme of the year, or motto!
Why do we want to take resolutions?
Life is expansion and evolution; it’s only natural to want to better ourselves and to feel ambitious when it comes to that. Getting started on a symbolic cycle is inspiring, and we can also, at some times of the year, find support in friends doing the same. It also gives us the means to measure our progress toward our goal.
Time to go to the gym... feeling motivated yet?
Why do resolutions fail so often?
While the concept is great by itself, the emulation of others setting their own resolutions and sharing them, IRL or on the internet, might push us to go a bit too far. Wanting to meditate more regularly turns into 30 daily minutes of zen meditation, and a desire to be healthier translates as an expensive gym subscription.
But, by setting for the moon, we might at least reach the stars? So why would it be a bad thing to set big goals? Well, when it creates the right motivation for some, it might create a feeling of pressure for others, and in some case failure. We might end up pushing ourselves out of guilt, rather than joy.
If the Gregorian calendar holds power, setting a goal at this time of the year also means getting started right before the coldest times of the year, with our energy level not being at its highest after the holidays.
The alternative: picking a theme!
A theme of the year isn’t a resolution, but a general direction. It’s not as strict, and if it’s less measurable, it can also be even more motivating. A theme is also more general, meaning that you can pick one that can encompass many aspects of your life, from the most practical to the most conceptual ones.
As you go at your own rythm, it also means you are letting softly the new habbit implementing in your life. Because of that, you have better chances of realizing years later that a theme you picked a long time ago is fully part of your life now, without going back to your old self.
How to pick your theme / motto / creed of the year?
- It has to tackle what you want to change in priority: for best results, it’s beneficial to focus on one thing.
- It can be a full sentence or just a keyword.
- It has to be clear, as you’ll be using it as some kind of mantra over the coming months. It can still be abstract in some ways, as long as its meaning is crystal clear for you.
Examples of themes:
I accept all of myself: it can cover many things, from self-love to shadow work, with this sense of acceptance free from judgement.
Balance despite chaos: the world, especially these past few years, is ever changing. Most of us can’t remember when we saw a “normal” year for the last time. And despite that, we know our peace and happiness comes from inside. This theme might inspire you to focus on yourself and remember that you can create your happiness at all times, outside of external factors.
Under the sign of Saturn: okay, this one is weird, but stay with me, please. It might inspire you to use astrology in your theme. I decided to create my company when I was in a city directly on my line of Saturn (if you love astrology and don’t know yet about astrocartography, you might dive in a new rabbit hole). Saturn isn’t easy work, but it rewards dedication, integrity, and perseverance. These are values important to me. One day, as I was thinking about exactly that, I saw a lady with a printed tote bag with the message “Under the sign of Saturn”. If a planet holds a dear space in your heart and reflects values you want to embody more, you can 100 % use that in your mantra.
Refinement: a simple word can say it all, no need for extra fluff as long as it’s clear for you. In this example, refinement could mean an alchemical process you want to do on something or yourself, or also wanting to create a more refined and fulfilling life (buying flowers for yourself, giving a try to glamour magick, wearing your expensive clothes for no reason, learning etiquette for the joy of it, etc.).
A theme doesn’t need to be about something new: it can help you to reach the next level
Resolutions, new habits... are often focused on integrating something completely brand new to your lifestyle. A theme can be about that, but also about something that already works for you, with the intention of going even deeper. For example, let’s say that you did a tremendous job freeing you from guilt: you feel much better from it, you see current events under a different light now, avoiding creating more than needed of this feeling. In this case, setting a theme such as “free from guilt” could still help, creating a focus on going deeper and cleansing old emotional dust hidden in the depths of your psyche.
Sharing something that worked for me:
Being so enthusiastic about themes, you can bet I actually played with them quite a bit! I’ll give you one example of my experiences.
“I’m not ashamed of what gives me pleasure” helped me tremendously. By that, I meant embracing my passions totally and cultivating a feeling of ease when asked about them. Because yes, even for someone who is a bit alternative, practices openly witchcraft, and has a business centred around that, there were areas of my life I could, on a more or less unconscious level, feel self-conscious about. Using this theme didn’t change my interest: I’m still the same grown up woman obsessed with magick, listening to kpop as much as metal, spending time in music festivals and anime conventions, and wearing whatever she wants. What changed is that I feel at ease when it comes to sharing about that. People might think it’s cool, or the absolute opposite of that, but that’s not my concern anymore. So much energy saved! It might seem a bit superficial at first, but it goes deeper with that: self-consciousness, to the point of sometimes shame, can be a magick killer. Am I supposed to want that / do that? Should I act or dress this way? All can be valid questions to some extent, but your most powerful magic happens when you are aligned with who you are deeply. Getting rid of the feeling of shame is accepting that we have desires because they are aligned with our soul.
And now, that’s your turn
If you had bad experiences with new year resolutions, there is nothing wrong with you; that’s simply not the best tool for you. I hope you’ll give a try at setting a theme for your new year. It will keep you on tracks while feeling easy, and before you notice, you’ll be a new person!